Jay Kincaid sees parts of his friend Michael Gray everywhere in Franklin Hall.
When he looks at the 13-foot-tall hanging screen in the commons, he thinks of Michael, who spent about eight months working to get the feature installed. He sees him in the Ken and Audrey Beckley Studio, or Studio 7, which exists thanks to Michael’s engineering and construction. And when he sees Media School students grappling with lighting for their projects, he’s reminded of his friend who once did the same as a student at Indiana University.
Michael's dedication to helping those around him, Jay said, is evident in every aspect of The Media School.
“You could tell that group of people [students] that were going to be something special,” Jay said. “And Mike was part of that group.”
Michael was diagnosed with Stage 4 Sarcomatoid Mesothelioma, a rare and aggressive form of cancer, in August, but started having health issues as early as January. After several months battling cancer, Michael died peacefully Oct. 10, surrounded by family.
He is survived by his mother, Yvonne; two sisters Patricia Velasquez and Rebecca Shultz; two sons Kanye Roberts-Gray and Cole Gray; his brother-in-law David Velasquez, niece Zoe Velasquez and nephew Jakob Velasquez.
•••
Michael was born Jan. 4, 1976, in Hamburg, Germany, and moved to Bloomington in September 1982 at age 6.
As a kid, Michael loved playing soccer. His sister, Patricia, said he hoped to continue playing in college. That plan changed, however, when he tore his ACL in a game during his senior year at Bloomington High School North, ending his season.
Michael went to physical therapy and rehabbed at home to aid in recovery. Throughout every session, Patricia was right there with him. It was those sessions that sparked Patricia’s interest in physical therapy.
“I actually ended up going to school to be a physical therapist assistant because of that memory with him,” she said. “I like to give him the credit for that love that I have for physical therapy.”
When deciding where to attend college, Michael picked IU — not only because of his mother, who worked at the Jacobs School of Music, but because growing up in Bloomington made Michael an avid IU sports fan. As kids, Patricia said she and Michael would attend many IU soccer and basketball games.
Jay met Michael when he was still a student at IU majoring in telecommunications with a minor in business. During most of his four years as a student, Michael worked on the student crew, which Jay helped manage, at the Radio-Television Building on campus.
Along with his job on the student crew, which produced multiple shows throughout the school year, Michael also balanced the life of a full-time student and manager at a local Pizza Hut. Despite Michael’s busy schedule, Jay described him as someone who was always so clearly dedicated to his work.
Michael graduated in May 2007. Shortly after graduation, he started working with IU as the lighting and studio manager for Radio and television services, a job Jay recommended him for. He was later hired as the assistant director of facilities and building manager for The Media School.
In this position, Michael helped manage several projects. Jay described Michael as a “jack of all trades.” When it came to his job, there wasn’t a project Michael couldn’t accomplish.
But for Michael, it was about more than just good engineering; it was about building something that would last and help all the students who used it. Jay said almost everything Michael touched or built in the building had that same clear dedication to it.
It was that determination to learn and grow — which was evident as a student — that made Michael so good at what he did in Jay’s eyes.
Emily Fox, a junior at IU, worked closely with Michael. She first met him when she was a freshman in fall 2023, and they worked on a wide variety of projects with IU Student Television.
Last year, Emily helped produce a Little 500 show — a stressful situation amplified by continuous technical problems. Michael was the first person she turned to for guidance.
To Emily, Michael was more than someone who could give a quick answer to her questions. He was a calming presence in the studio. He truly cared about making sure students understood the work they were doing.
“No matter how long it took, he was going to sit with you and make sure that you understood,” Emily said. “He was the first person I went to for help, because I needed a ton of technical stuff (for Little 500). And I went to him, and I emailed that man back and forth. I was like, ‘Girl, please, like, please help me.’ And he was like, ‘Take a deep breath. You're gonna be okay.’ And he really got me through that. I was very proud of that show, and it was all him.”
Michael was a mentor and confidant Emily always felt comfortable around. And it’s that supportive and calming presence she hopes all students, even the ones that never met him, feel every time they walk into the studio.
“He walked in a room, and it was like sunshine,” Emily said. “I just genuinely think that his presence and attitude and just pure demeanor is what made an impact on so many people. He was just so supportive, and I think he would want to be remembered that way as being the kind, genuine, compassionate person that he was.”
Though Emily will graduate next school year and leave The Media School, she strives to take some of Michael’s positivity, dedication and passion for engineering into her own projects.
“I wish he could teach me more now, because I want to keep learning how to be an engineer,” Emily said. “I was just truly in awe of how nice of a person he was, no matter the situation. It could be like The Media School was on fire, and he would be complimenting you on your shoes.”
•••
Even in his professional life, Michael never stopped learning and growing his skill set. During his career, Michael participated in lighting workshops and freelanced for many companies, including CBS and the NFL Network.
One of the organizations he worked with was the Winter Guard International World Championships, which he had been participating in since 2009. John Flower, an IU alumnus and executive producer for the show, worked with Michael for years and witnessed the dedication he had for his role as center floor camera operator.
Last April marked Michael’s 15th consecutive year working the WGI World Championship, the world’s premier organization for indoor color guard, percussion and winds competitions. John described Michael, who was generally soft-spoken, as having the ability to draw people into whatever he was saying.
Though their time working directly together was limited to during the competition, John felt Michael had a comfortable and calming demeanor regardless of the situation.
“You were like, ‘Okay, Mike's here now. Everything's gonna be calm, everything's going to be cool,’” John said. “He was just a sturdy thing that was there every year, just positively impacting our entire crew. And that's what made him such a unique guy. Very few people can handle that pressure in such a positive, uplifting way.”
In the past 15 years they had worked together, John said there were very few times he’d seen Michael take a break. He never complained, never gave his job or the kids performing less than his full attention. And he always did it with a smile.
John said Michael showed others the right way to be a caring professional and “the right way to be a human being” in general. It’s a personal mantra John keeps in mind while he’s working, though he admits he doesn’t think he does it as well as Michael.
“There should be more Mikes in this world, not less Mikes,” John said. “If I ever really needed something, I could call Mike. No question about it. If I was ever like, ‘I'm in a real jam here. Who could I call?’ I know I could call Mike.”
While his freelance work often took him on work trips around the United States, those close to him him know Germany was his favorite place to travel.
Michael was 6 years old when he and his family moved to Bloomington from Hamburg, Germany. Despite moving at such a young age, Michael kept his German heritage very much alive. In his adult life, he went back for many trips, oftentimes with his mother, Yvonne.
Whether it was visiting family or exploring a new town, travel and a love for the country he spent most of his formative years in was a core part of who Michael was.
“He was my overseas travel partner,” Yvonne said. “We traveled to Germany about every, in recent years, every two to three years apart. We spent time with family in Germany and traveled to places we had never been before. So that was our special thing.”
Yvonne later joked the two had been ready to move back to Germany many times before deciding the occasional visit would probably be enough.
Michael also had a close relationship with God and regularly attended his church, fxchurch. His sister, Patricia, emphasized how important this relationship was and how it helped guide him through some of the toughest times.
Patricia always considered one of Michael’s most admirable qualities to be how he followed through on everything he did no matter how difficult the decision was.
“As he got older, he really demonstrated how it is to walk with Christ,” Patricia said. “He owned up to his choices, and he took responsibility for them. He didn't try to blame anyone else, and he took responsibility. He didn't run away from stuff, you know.”
•••
Everyone who worked with Michael knew his greatest love in life wasn’t his job or travel.
It was his family.
His sons, Kanye, 20, and Cole, 16, were two of the most important people in Michael’s life. Those who spent time with him often heard stories of him, his sons and their weekend plans.
“He was very supportive and protective of them as children, and even as they got older,” Patricia said. “Even with me and my kids, it's like he made it a point to make sure we had family time together, and our kids got to spend time together and grow up together. And he just, he was around. He made it a point to be around with family.”
While much of his weekend was spent with his sons, Yvonne said Michael would often drive to Indianapolis to visit her or Patricia. His out-of-the-blue visits to lend a helping hand were at the cornerstone of who Michael was.
The trips became even more important after Yvonne was injured in a car accident last year, leaving her in a neck brace and unable to drive for three months. While a lack of mobility stranded her at home, Michael would visit Yvonne to help her get outside and attempt to escape the “cabin fever.”
That’s just who Michael was. Yvonne remembers her son as someone who was dependable and always took care of others. It’s a feeling she knows is shared with all who met him.
“If you go to the obituary on the funeral home site, and you see all those comments, people loved him and it's because he was such a loving person, and that's what he'll be remembered for,” Yvonne said. “He was always willing to have a lending hand, a listening ear. He would be there for people, even if it wasn't convenient for him. If somebody needed his help, he was there to help.”
But his caring nature extended past just helping someone with a problem. Michael strived to make people laugh every day.
Patricia remembers her brother fondly for his humor. Whether it was being hyper specific about what time it was or taking silly photos on someone’s phone without them looking, Michael’s jokes brought smiles to people’s faces — even if they didn’t catch on right away.
“He'd take a picture, and he'd kind of sneak his face into the picture,” Patricia said. “And you didn't even know what he did until later on, and you're looking at the photos, and you see the very first one. It was him with a silly face.”
•••
It’s been three weeks since Michael died, and Jay said faculty, students and staff are still reminded of him all the time.
Michael didn’t just care about keeping the studios running and the equipment working, Jay said. He cared about turning students into professionals and doing it the right way.
Michael took no shortcuts, said Jay. He didn’t put tasks off until later or do them quickly and easily. There was the right way of doing things, and that’s what he wanted to teach students.
It didn’t matter how long it took; Michael was dedicated to answering any question a student would ask. Always with a smile and laugh.
Jay said even though the studio has to move forward without Michael, his team continuously feels the lack of his presence.
“Every morning we're on Slack, and every morning you say ‘good morning,’ and then there's just a lot of shit that’s just banter back and forth,” Jay said. “And Mike was always a part of that, and that's how we communicated – through Slack. And it's weird, his icon's still there, and there's just no more ‘good mornings.’ There's no more and we all kind of, we feel that and we miss that.”
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